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[takutomaruki]

I AM A SINNER...

╰┈➤ ❝ When we get to the pearly gates. You'll get the green light, I'll get the old door in the face ❞

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02/01

Toplevel

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Welcome, dreamer, to the new dream

closed

15/01

Thread

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Rank 1: Glass, nightmares and Hopes.

closed

27/01

Thread

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Quick adjustments.

closed

03/02

Post

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Rank 2: Before my goodwill crumbles away in these sterile lands.

closed

01/05

Top level

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Rank 3: A gift

active

...YOU ARE A SAINT

Comments

[takutomaruki]

Hm, maybe he could add some enoki in... he hums as he goes around the kitchen and grabs some of it from the adjacent section in his fridge. He quickly chops some of that, ensures that all the scum is gone for sure he lowers the heat and watches the shijimi clams open up nicely. "Oh-? Sustainable! I approve of your friend," he grins at the mention of adding fish.

Once he's sure the miso is dissolved, he lowers the heat completely and removes the pot. He serves more of the portion to Ichinose since he had some earlier this morning before garnishing it with some chopped scallions. "You were very hot to the actual dish, and now I am just hoping the cure is worth the wait." He chuckles lightly as he sets the pot aside, checks the stove and walks past to get some of the fruits he had chopped up earlier when he got Ichinose's text.

Maruki sets down the dish in front of her and sits beside her, holding his own bowl. There were some apples cut in the shape of bunny ears on a small platter as he finally eases up and turns to Ichinose with something like excitement.

"It's Shijimi Miso soup. Just with a few touches of my own."

[dollmaxing]

"Clams! Now that makes sense. That smells fantastic, thank you," Ichinose chuckled in delight. She went right for the soup, taking a sip and relaxing a bit, the warmth washing over her as a small balm against the soreness and aches of the hangover.

"That was my ex boyfriend - he was such a penny-pincher, even though I offered to cover more expenses if he needed. Men are so stubborn about letting a woman contribute, even if she's doing better financially than he is."

[takutomaruki]

"No problem," he grinned as he went back to attending to his soup, stirring the ingredients together. "These clams just eat away at the toxins produced in your system- I don't know where I would be without it."

Ah, ex-boyfriend. He remembered when she had mentioned partners to him earlier- this might be a relationship that didn't end on good terms. Better tread carefully.

"Hmm, probably because men struggle with the idea of not being the provider, kind of like a problem we bring up on ourselves," he sighs as he takes a quick sip of the broth. "Brings back memories when we used to struggle with bills too- a researcher's pay leaves much to be desired."

[dollmaxing]

"I can imagine. You're all in on cognitive psience, right? I was able to pay my way around easily by selling code and getting a few programming gigs during school," Ichinose chuckled. Between that, selling EMMA and her inheritance... she's been pretty comfortable for most of her life.

"Are you also too proud to let your partner take care of you?" she asked after chewing on a clam, giving Maruki an amused grin.

[takutomaruki]

"I opened up a counselling clinic back home along with being a part-time counsellor at Shujin Academy. I occasionally visit those places here, too. My Palace gives me more patients though," he explains. "It's easier to tackle the limitations of my previous profession with cognitive pscience."

Are you also too proud to let your partner take care of you?

His expression sobered a little at the mention of it. A partner.

"I wouldn't...call it proud...?" He tries as an answer, glancing back at Ichinose with an eye pinched playfully. "You would have to ask my former girlfriend that question for an unbiased opinion."

[dollmaxing]

"Ohh? Was she a doting type of girlfriend, or did she butt heads with you over wanting to help out?" Ichinose snickered in amusement, curling up on the couch with the miso bowl in her hands like a cup. Warm...

"My ex would raise a fuss about me being the bread-winner. So sensitive about it, I never understood why - I tried to listen, but it just never made sense to me."

[takutomaruki]

Maruki couldn't really answer her question right away- not with the way he seemed to be so utterly focused on the soup before him.

Butting heads...in a way he had always opened his heart to her in time of need. She doted on him with ideas, and he did everything in his power to spoil her too.

"Sounds like there's a reason why he's your ex," he remarked easily as he crossed one leg over the other. "Perhaps he was a little insecure. When the roles shift, even if it's for the better, sometimes people might feel... lost, or even ashamed. Defensive even." Rumi earned more than him back before everything so when her company laid her off, when she ended up in that comatose state, things felt so much more hopeless. With him saving money for her treatment to working on his research...

"...she was more of the reassuring kind. She had the ideas, and I used to do whatever I could to make them come true."

[dollmaxing]

Hmm... the topic of his girlfriend seemed to really dampen his mood. That sort of reaction means he might still care for her, doesn't it? Ichinose tilted her head in thought, for a moment, watching Maruki's expression.

...Did she still pine for her ex boyfriend? ...Not really... she didn't think about him much. Even now, reflecting on him and his little quirks, even reflecting on how defensive he would get or the other things he said... it didn't feel like much of anything. That was a while ago.

"You're the most cold, heartless woman I've ever met. You don't even care about me."

He probably wasn't wrong, if even now the thought of him dumping her didn't stir her much. It didn't make her make a face like what Maruki was making.

"She sounds nice," Ichinose offered instead of vocalizing any of that, pausing to sip her soup. "It's too bad. It seems like that loss is painful."

[takutomaruki]

"Painful?" He whips his head back at her, confused for a moment. Was there something on his face that made her come to that conclusion?

[dollmaxing]

"Well, obviously. Getting dumped is painful, right?" She tilted her head. Wasn't that obvious? Of course that was supposed to hurt a normal person.

[takutomaruki]

Oh.

He thought she meant it some other way. "Sorry, I misread that, I guess," he looks away. "She didn't dump me...would you be surprised if I said I was engaged? We were together for most of our lives, with a small break-up in between before picking things up again."

[dollmaxing]

Ah-- then the other unfortunate fate. Engaged, dating for a long time...

"My sympathies for your loss. ...But I can see you engaged, at least - you're very enjoyable. I imagine there are plenty of women that would confide in you once you're past mourning."

[takutomaruki]

Oh wow, he was really blowing this out of proportion. The compliment aside, which made him sputter and stutter out of pure confusion. "No, I am not- see that's the thing. People confide in me cause I am trained in it again- I am not mourning her."

"It was all my fault in the end." He offers her a weak smile as he finishes the last of his soup. "For being a bit of a coward. It's been a good few years since then, and she's much happier now! Much happier than back then...there's nothing more I am grateful for."

[dollmaxing]

...? What in the world is he talking about? Ichinose's brows furrowed in thought as she examined him, turning the words over in her head...

"...A coward... oh! Did you run from the altar?"

1/2

[takutomaruki]

Maruki began sipping away on the soup, hoping that she would drop the topic. It's a thing of the past and he has much bigger things to worry about and work on so-

Did you run from the altar?

"...!"

"Bwfah-" Maruki chokes on his soup, some of the enoki gladly making their way to his windpipe as he coughs and sets the bowl on his lap. "Wha- okay."

2/2 (he will mention the incident after sadhd just give him a bit)

[takutomaruki]

He ended up laughing- not expecting that speculation at all. Most people didn't ask beyond that but Ichinose-? She did.

"I wish it was like that. Honestly."

[dollmaxing]

Well, she was terribly off the mark - but at least he was laughing about it instead of looking offended. Lucky her!

"Well, then, what happened?"

[takutomaruki]

She was insistent. Maruki tilted his head at her, trying to grasp her intentions. The look in his eyes held as much lethargy as the night before, even with the smile persistent on his face.

"..."

"It's a thing in the past now," he starts as he finally places his bowl on the table. "Our relationship was tested by things beyond our control. Things she wouldn't have recovered from if I hadn't pulled away."

A dull ache overflows his senses. He leaned forward, gripping his nose to contain it when he swore he felt something pull at his mind again.

"Haha! Sorry for being a bit of a buzzkill," he caught his breath as he pulled his hand away to glance back at her.

[dollmaxing]

Something strange and painful then. Miscarriage? A traumatic event? Had he somehow abused her? The latter part seemed uncharacteristic, but looks could be deceiving.

Still, Ichinose just tilted her head, looking him over.

"No, I'm sorry to bring it up. You look distressed."

[takutomaruki]

"Now you sound like Shibusawa," he shook his head with a wry chuckle. "It's fine. It's been like what- 6 years now? I've been working on it..." His gaze drifted to the couch as he finally crossed his legs together. "In any case, I am not looking for a romantic relationship anytime soon."

"...here especially." Oh, he hopes that wasn't an awkward statement, but it is true.

[dollmaxing]

It didn't make her feel awkward - in fact, it got a bit of a bark of a laugh from her.

"Hah! God, no, could you imagine? Falling for someone in a place like this, only to get whisked away and be literal universes apart? That's tragic."

[takutomaruki]

Isn't that right? Maruki couldn't even fathom something that was unachievable. That inconceivable..

Ah, but Rumi was here, wasn't she? He even thought he could salvage a relationship with her again, even as a friend.
Until he was told that she isn't real.

"I do see the romantic appeal in it," he admits with a soft smile on his lips. "Like star-crossed lovers who only met in this one extraordinary circumstance out of the million universes."

[dollmaxing]

"Wouldn't the heart crumble from something like that?" Ichinose chuckled. She wasn't being snide, at least not intentionally - that sort of heartbreak seemed extreme when most romantic couples whined about being only a city apart. How much more severe would it be to have it be literally impossible to see the person you cared for?

[takutomaruki]

It's a fair question to ask, given everything. He knows a lot of things he believes in don't hold much weight when you weigh the truth- your internal world with the bitter external one- you are often left dissatisfied.

"A heart crumbles easily," he says slowly. "At the end of the day, it's all about how much you are willing to sacrifice, isn't it? For both yourself and your partner."

And he would sacrifice gladly. Time and again.

He folds his arms on his lap, growing quiet.

[dollmaxing]

"If both parties would get hurt, then wouldn't it be better to not entertain those feelings at all...? Or can you just not help it, at that point?"

The latter would make sense - maybe that's the difference between herself and others. She could easily shift gears, stop wanting something she can't have and focus on the attainable, the practical...

Though, things are much more attainable than they seem, aren't they? EMMA proved as much.

"Actually, on that train of thought, I wonder if one could bridge this world and other worlds more concretely - supposedly our messaging apps continue working through time and space and the multiverse, so who's to say we couldn't come up with a way to reinforce that connection more directly?"