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It's around 9 pm right now and I still feel sick looking at my arm. I am now convinced that I am actually stuck here and I am not part of some elaborate prank or in my personal hell. I have somehow managed to retain my apartment and no one has questioned the fact that a tentacled man (who in all honestly looks like a rip off of Doc Ock) forcefully broke into his own apartment and started eating his noodles on his sofa the moment he settled in. I am still embarrassed about it but really- I was hungry that time which is strange because my appetite is usually normal.
I have a feeling it has something to do with my uh...injury? I am not sure what to call it but it has certainly been less painful than before.
That Ren was certainly not trying to hold back his attack. I mean I still don't know what I should have done when he had his panic attack. I couldn't just leave that poor boy to his devices- surrounded by a crowd who wouldn't even turn to look at him.
I would have gone insane here all by myself if I didn't run into Dove and Briar so I figured I should return the favour, right? But now that I have realized that I was the cause of his panic- I...I don't know. It would just prove that my therapy didn't work as intended and I am a poor excuse of a councillor as any in that universe. I don't wish to be like that and I hope even if we do end up crossing paths, that Ren doesn't try to attack me right away. I am not the type to hold a grudge but even I have a limit to endurance of course. All of this makes me wonder how influential Azathoth really is. I suppose Yoshizawa-san would know something about this so all I can really do is wait it out and then send her a quick chat to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible. I hope she's safe.
After I finished eating I went to take a shower and examined my new arm there. It looks rotten in all honesty and my stomach doesn't feel too well. In all honesty, I don't know how I am still able to stomach it all- I still can't feel my hand even as it responds to me attempting to hold my bowl- it's clear that it is Azathoth's doing. Perhaps I was being too harsh with it since without it, I don't know if I would be here writing this entry in the first place.
Update (00:53 am): The green patches in my hand have started to fade into black. I have become hungry again but at least I can feel the top of my arm. Now I am sure that my body's energy is directly linked to my regeneration. The only problem is...I will have to shop at night. If it's really based on cognition that would mean crime is still rampant, right? Or hell- what if I run into the wrong person who has an intense impression of me?
Update (03:40 am): I am going to cook something for myself with what I have left. I can't sleep with my stomach growling like this.
Update (04:00 am): Azathoth...knows how to cook apparently. I just had to stand at the kitchen counter and watch as his tentacles prepared my things while its appendages curiously hovered over me chopping up vegetables or preparing the meals. He's an interesting one, hmm?
Update (the next day, 09:00 am): I feel a lot better now and I can feel my index finger a little. Still- I don't think it's enough so I will use bandages to wrap up the remaining burnt-up parts and just not try to focus on it for now. Azathoth still means well and soon I think I will contact Kasumi-san again. It feels like I am encouraging us to be dependent on each other like that creep. I will make sure not to be too clingy after I have full control of my persona.
Its much better for me to do this alone.
She did mention that she wanted to be my ally, right? It's been a while since I have had anyone to rely on.
Well aside for...
Hm.
I hope the Akira in my universe is doing alright. That long-nosed man, Igor, said the world wouldn't continue without me- I remember that but it isn't exactly a comforting thought.
I should observe how are the others coping with this arrangement.
